“We need to talk about money.” If reading that sentence made your shoulders or jaw tense up just a little, you’re not alone. But talking about family finances doesn’t have to be stressful even if your family’s assets are more substantial than most.

By having conversations around money now, you, your partner and other family members can develop healthy attitudes toward managing your assets moving forward.

Let’s look at five ways to help navigate financial conversations.

1. Get into the right mindset

It may be easier to have productive family discussions about money if you go into the conversation with an open-minded attitude and focus on solving problems — and reaching shared goals. That’s important because it’s unlikely that you and your loved ones will approach every financial decision in the same way or that your spending and saving habits will be identical.

Keep in mind that a successful team brings together different strengths and perspectives. For example, with your spouse, you may decide to take one person’s approach to spending and the other’s strategy for investing, or you may develop new approaches that blend the best of your individual habits and ideas. Within reason, be open to altering your style and collaborating to find a solution that feels comfortable to everyone.

» Insight: Goal-oriented thinking can help create unity. Stay focused on solutions and common ground, namely your shared goals and why they’re important to everyone in the conversation. Jointly finding ways to reach those goals can help keep conversations forward-focused rather than rehashing any past financial issues.

2. Be transparent about savings, debts and spending

As tempting as it can be to avoid difficult discussions in the short term by not mentioning spending or debts to a partner, it’s a poor long-term strategy. Full financial disclosure with your spouse is important for nurturing trust, and it can be critical for reaching shared goals.

Even if you’ve been in your relationship for many years, you and your partner may benefit from having some conversations similar to those that financial advisors recommend for couples first approaching marriage.¹ These talks can help you clarify your assets, liabilities, income and other financial responsibilities so you can make more informed decisions about your family’s finances.

» Insight: Remember that you may have financial conversations with family beyond your partner. Conversations with aging parents or money discussions with other family members should be approached in the same way.

3. Agree on family money goals

A clear picture of each person’s finances can help you set the right goals and work toward them in the order that makes the most sense for your family. For example, if your finances are disorganized, getting them in order² can free up time that you can apply to your other financial goals — or to enjoy more time with your family.

Major goals — such as retirement planning and saving for education — require a good understanding of the current financial landscape, and you may be unlearning some common Social Security myths.³ For these goals, it’s a good idea to start by talking with a financial advisor to make sure you have the right information to plan effectively.

» Insight: Some financial goals are truly long-term and may be hard for family members to envision. Celebrate steps along the way — like reaching a certain amount in a child’s education account — to stay focused on the larger goal. Breaking goals down into smaller milestones can help keep family members focused and motivated.

4. Be clear about individual money responsibilities

The best team efforts depend on every member doing their part. Clarity about responsibility for family financial tasks can make planning — and family life — easier. Maybe one partner pays the bills and minds the joint checking account while the other manages investments and savings. Or perhaps one partner researches the best options and the other follows through on the results.

However you and your partner divide family financial chores, it’s critical that each of you knows what the other person does and where records are kept. That way, you can easily take over for each other in case of a major illness or other unexpected event.

» Insight: Understanding financial responsibilities can begin at an early age. Children⁴ can have money responsibilities aligned with their age and interests. A small allowance can help even preschoolers start to learn the basics of saving, sharing and spending. You can help older children set savings goals for purchases they want to make. Teenagers can learn the basics of investing, to get an early start on an important lifelong wealth-building habit.

5. Talk early and often

Regular conversations about your day-to-day finances and long-term goals can help your family stay on track. This approach can be a challenge if you or your partner were raised in a family that didn’t talk about money. But over time, regular talks can become more comfortable and even exciting, as you and your family see progress toward your goals.

Ongoing money conversations and updates also keep you and your partner in the loop, which is an important part of cross-training to handle each other’s financial tasks in an emergency. When your discussions include your children in age appropriate ways, you’re also modeling healthy family money management and wealth building habits for the next generation.

» Insight: Frequent chats can also help you adapt to new life events and goals as they emerge, such as caregiving for an elderly parent or one partner going back to school. It’s wise to schedule a conversation with an experienced financial advisor at least once a year, as well as whenever there’s a major change in your financial status.

The takeaway

Family financial conversations can be less stressful and more productive when you have a guide to talk you through your family’s key financial issues.

Are you looking for further assistance regarding wealth management, including the transfer of significant assets? The experienced financial advisors at RBFCU Wealth Management, The Garner Davis Group are ready to talk with you about your family’s financial goals. Start your conversation today by reaching out to set an appointment.